The Balance

The first message I ever preached outside of a class was in chapel at Nyack College. I preached about the balance between confidence and humility. I regret to say that about 5 years later my heart still hasn't found the stability on that balance beam. Where is the balance between unwrapping a spiritual gift with boldness, and finding a humility that lands you flat on your face in front of a Holy God? How is that accomplished when people don't have the ability to see past a man, and end up showering him with a false success? Where is the balance between, fighting to conquer a sin, and then when it is conquered giving all the credit and glory to Christ who gave you the strength to conquer it in the first place? How do you have integrity without pride? How do you have Christlike character and humility at the same time? In my ignorance and weakness I have said to myself, "well maybe I allow this thorn to stay in my side so that I can know I am nothing without Christ." I'm such an idiot sometimes. Now pride haunts my soul on one side of the enemy lines and as I cross over into friendly territory I cross into a world of every other sin. A word filled explanation is easy to shower on these questions. But a heart filled explanation seems extinct. Its seems the balance is to be Blameless and Broken. But I for one am stuck in prideful and sinful. Life sucks, good thing I got a Savior.

Rise and Responsibility

I believe the church is on its way. Those that teach the Word with passion and diligence. Those who approach it with fear and trembling knowing that they will stand before a Holy God and have to face Him one day. Those who approach it with accountability.
Those that welcome the sick, broken, and all too well. Those that don't care if your tie is steamed pressed. Those that don't divide over when Christ is coming back because some knowledge is too great for us anyway. Those that become a Greek to the Greek and a Jew to the Jew. I believe the church is on its way. Those that frown upon complexity and smile upon the simple yet challenging life of breathing the greatest of the commandments. Those that share their possessions, do life together, and live a life of resurrection.
Yea its time. This nation is going to be backhanded with the gospel and life will never be the same. The right churches are growing and the "health and wealth" will die. The question is...are we ready?



Ananias and his wife were not. In the Word, as you know(and if you don't know that's ok) they are both struck down for going against the grain of a revolution. They were part of something ginormous where the numbers that were being saved were outrageous. Where life was being done right. Where every one was filled with the joy of living in Christ. And with that revolution comes great responsibility. "When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required" Luke 12:48

Is the church ready for this revolution? Start preparing your heart now. Start living with integrity. Start pouring yourself out in desperation to your God so that you don't go against the grain of a revolution. Because this revolution will be beautiful, and critical.

Il Miss

Il miss Preparing in a cold office on Sunday morning
I wont miss the tragedies of those close, the mourning.
Il miss the ability to take from those generous, even the candles
But I definitely wont miss those dreadful jersey Jug-handles.
Il Miss the fact that the city is almost right there.
I wont miss slight arrows in the back, and a faint blank stare.
Il miss weekly trips to Nyack and Saturday morning ball
Il definitely miss the way that you look in the fall.
Il miss people with too much money
And I wont them at the same time
Il miss those with generosity
But not those that wont give a dime.

I have a love hate with Jersey, its an interesting place
But one thing Il always miss, is your presence, your face.
The face of my parents, the presence of my boo
The face of my brother and sister, the presence of You.
You who care about me whether its Steve,Isaac or Marielle,
Whether its my friends from Nyack, or the ones that fell
The Rob's and the Bob's, the Big D's and the Tim's
Those who took me under, you know if your him.

Those who pray for me who live with me and cry

Timeless friendships, the sakdalans, with some frye's
You got Larry,Joe, Robyn, and Nancy, the list trickles on,
A bunch of Filipinos who eat soup from a pond.
Il miss the students and the ones that don't get it,
Il miss the ones that do, I give my God all the credit.
You is what Il miss, Your presence your face
You is what Il miss, not the present not the place.

And one things for sure, its only a week away
Il keep my head up, serve my God and wipe the tears away.

An Impossible Call

So wait? I can't even lust after another mans wife? If I do I have committed adultery? Impossible
And If someone attacked my girlfriend while I wasn't there, becoming my enemy, you want me to love them? Impossible
If you called me to sell all my possessions and leave to go to your land without a penny, you want me to actually listen?
You want me to live my every breath for you, without seeing you in the physical?And if someone spits on my face, you want me to turn my cheek? Impossible
You want me to find the positive in men hating me? You want me to make myself last in a world where the first is all anyone promotes? Impossible

Why the impossible? How am I supposed to carry this out and herald this news on the mountaintop living in the flesh with those who want nothing to do with it?
They would say well, His word says, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. I would say when was the last time you did all things through Christ?
You would say, My son, you are not fighting for the prize in a cereal box, or a gold medal in the world Games. You are not fighting for the greatest of a kingly pleasureful life. You are not fighting for tomorrow. You are fighting for the eternal soul of the man standing next to you. You are fighting to place your index finger on my Holy cheek as tears stream down your face. Your fighting for forever. The impossible is worth it.
I would say, today you have won my heart. I have a Strong feeling you will win and repeat tomorrow.